Vicis
by HogwartsHeadGirl21
Summary: Jillian's house is attacked & she is shoved into the secret organization called the Order & Hogwarts. Finding herself not in the 2nd war she had prepared for but the 1st when she is thrust through time where she has to fight for more than her life.Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

"Mom. What's going on?" I ask when I hear the garden gate crash open. Violet, my mother, slams the shutters shut and turns to me.

"Jillian, get upstairs now," my mother whispers as she locks the backdoor. She knows it won't do any good against the wizards outside.

"Mommy," I cry.

"Upstairs now," she yells and ushers me up stairs pushing me into her room. "I love you darling. I want you to remember that always. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to protect you. I'll buy you sometime."

"Mom. What is happening?" I ask as I feels tears falling down my face.

"You'll understand one day," she says hugging me. "In my closet there is a black bag. Grab it and when you land ask for Albus."

"No come with me," I cling to her.

"No, there isn't time darling," she says as we hear footsteps making their way to the staircase. She ushers me towards the closet and with one last hug she shoves me into the closet and closes it behind her leaving me there alone. I see the bag and grab on.

"Where is the girl?" a menacing voice asks.

"Not here" my mother defends. I feel a pull at my navel and the last thing I see before I land is a flash of green light. I can vaguely feel the tears staining my cheeks as I land on the floor clutching the bag.

"Albus. I need to speak to Albus," I say to the shocked group of people. I can't count or clearly see how many people begin to crowd around me.

"We'll get Albus. What is your name," A girl's voice rings out of a mass of chocolate brown curls hovering above me.

"J...Ji...Jillian Brewster." I say with the last bit of energy I have.

A man with sandy brown hair sprinkled with gray sits in his favorite chair at number 12 Grimmauld Place reading as per usual. All of a sudden a loud bang erupts from the entryway. A girl with long black hair appears in a pile on the floor. Every wand in the house is on her in a second; but she doesn't seem to notice.

"Albus," she whispers and Hermione is by her side in a moment. That is when we all see the red phoenix embroidered on the bag she is clutching. Only those in the Order know she is one of the many magical and muggle folk living in hiding with the protection of the Order to keep them safe.

"What is your name?" Hermione asks.

"Jillian Brewster." He knew that name. Remus Lupin turns around just in time to see a girl from his past pass out on the floor. Only she looks younger than when he knew her. Her hair is shorter and she doesn't look quite as tall as when he knew her all those years ago. Rushing to his side he gently lifts her up. He tells Molly to contact Albus. Remus makes eye contact with Snape, who has gone even paler, before carrying her up stairs and gently laying her down on his bed. Making sure she is comfortable and warm he places Bill outside with strict instructions to let only Albus and himself in. Remus then makes his way to the attic to deliver some news that will certainly make his best friend crazy.

I knew I wasn't in my own bed; there was no smell of my mother making chocolate chip pancakes down stairs like she did every Sunday. My room didn't smell like old books and coffee. I refuse to open my eyes knowing that when I do I'll have to deal with a world without my mother, the implications of her death. She was all I had left. My father had died in the first war with Voldermort. I really did love her pancakes. A clearing of the throat from my right alerts me to another person in the room. Forcing myself to open my eyes I sit up and look into the eyes of a white haired man. Wiping away my tears he comes in to focus.

"Good morning Miss Brewster," he speaks in a sad voice. "I am Albus Dumbledore." I let out a sigh of relief and he flashes me a warm smile. "You are at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. You are safe."

"And my mother," I hear myself ask knowing fully the answer.

"I am sorry to say we got there too late."

"It's okay. It's not your fault," I say tears threatening to fall, again. The phrase 'your fault all your fault,' rummages inside my head as I try to push it out. Albus gives me a sad smile as if knowing what I meant by the statement. "Sir, what am I going to now?" I say trying to grasp onto something real.

"That is up to you Miss Brewster. Yet you are more than welcome to stay here for the remainder of the summer then attend Hogwarts." he answers. I have heard of Hogwarts ever since I can remember and I'd always wanted to go there. My mother and father had met there; both Gryffindors. My mother had never let me go there but I could tell she wished she could. When she spoke of her days there her eyes would gain a sparkle that could rival the sparkle of the man sitting in front of me.

"Really?" I asked hopefully in spite of everything knowing that my mother would have wanted me to.

"Yes, dear," Dumbledore smiles. "Molly has set up a bed for you in the girls room. I have a meeting with the Order now or I would show you the way."

"I understand, Sir."

"One of the girls should me in momentarily to show you. As soon as they give up eavesdropping on the meeting that is," he says. He chuckles and I feel its only appropriate to fake one to; but we both know I did. The door shuts behind him followed by a sigh.

"Mom," I whisper before dragging myself out of the comfortable bed. The floor is cold on my feet as I cross the room to one of the large bookshelves. Running my fingers along the spine of the books I smile to myself wishing I could lose myself in them for a year or two. A knock at the door brought me back to reality. The same mass of brown curls poked though the door only this time I saw the face of a girl my age.

"Oh good you're awake," she said and came fully in to the room. "We haven't properly met I'm Hermione Granger," she said offering her had to shake, which I did.

"Jillian Brewster," I reply.

"Well, I'll show you our room," Hermione says and escorts me down the hall and into another room. As we walk I take in the house-elf heads that line the hall and glance warily around me. "Sorry about the morbid decorations. The previous owners were purebloods who believed all that blood purity stuff. There is some freaky stuff but we are cleaning most of it out. But hey who would look for us here," Hermione says as she notices the direction of my eyes glued to the staring faces.

Once we reached the room it turned out to be a rather big room with three beds. "The house is big enough for each of us to have our own rooms but we have only cleaned and de-cursed a small portion," Hermione apologizes.

"That's okay I really don't think I want to be alone anyway," I say while looking at the floor. Hermione places an arm around me in a half hug. Shockingly I didn't pull away.

"There is an hour before breakfast so you can take a shower if you'd like," Hermione said pointing to the bathroom. "If you need anything I'll be in here reading."

"Thank you."

After a refreshing shower I picked myself off the shower's floor to get dressed. Rummaging though the bag I had brought with me I pulled out a pair of tight muggle cargo pants and my mom's old shirt from her school days. The shirt had The Moonstones on it, my mom's favorite wizarding band from the old days.

"Hey Jillian," Hermione said closing her book.

"What are you reading?" I ask looking at the old book sitting in her lap.

"Hogwarts, A History," Hermione says. "It's really an amazing book."

"Do you think I could maybe borrow it when you're done with it? Just so I'm not completely out of the loop when I get to Hogwarts," I ask looking at the floor.

"Yeah of course," she says with a gigantic smile. "You can actually borrow it now. I've read it at least 15 times and I'd hate to hear what Harry and Ron would say to see me reading it again."

"Really? Thank you."

"Not a problem. So you are going to Hogwarts then. We really don't get told anything around here," she smiles. "Oh you'll just love it."

"Who are Harry and Ron?" I ask curiously.

"They are my best friends," she explains and as if on cue there is a knock at the door.

"Come in," Hermione says and two boys enter. I know one from the papers the owls sometimes deliver and the other from the pictures on my refrigerator. "Jillian this is Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Guys this is Jillian Brewster," Hermione says introducing us. Ron is looking down at his (I would assume) very interesting shoes as he holds his hand out.

"Hi," is all he says as we shake hands. On the other hand Harry envelops me in to a hug.

"Sorry," he whispers in my ear.

"Thank you," is all I can say when he lets go. I can tell this isn't usual behavior by the shocked expressions of his friends. I give him a small smile and he hits Ron upside the head.

"Ignore him Jillian he isn't exactly competent," Hermione jokes and Ron's ears turn pink.

"Breakfast time," I red headed girl says from the door way.

"And this would be Ginny, Jillian." Hermione says.

"Hi Jillian," Ginny says from the doorway. Ron is already out the door due to the mention of food and we decide to follow him in a more civilized manor. Hermione and Ginny lead the way followed by Harry and I'm sure Ron was running. I was taking my time examining the house as we walked. I vaguely heard the group saying hi to someone but I was currently looking at the ugly men's pictures on the wall. Looking back at the hallway with it's high black ceiling I made my way down the stairs. I turned my attention back to the stairs I was currently walking down too late and missed a step. I came crashing in to a warm body. Meeting eyes with the person who saved me from falling down the stairs I felt the man's body stiffen. Currently distracted by his swirling gray eyes I didn't notice that it had become awkwardly silent.

"Hi," my savior said in a deep soothing voice.

"Hi," I respond.

"Sorry," he says realizing he is still holding me around the waist. We take a step back from each other when Harry comes running up the stairs.

"Don't freak out. I forgot to tell you Sirius Black is innocent," he announces.

"Who?" I ask confused.

"That would be me," the man says pointing to himself.

"Innocent of what?" I ask.

"Not of very much," a voice says from the top of the stairs but then stops short when he sees me. The Sirius man is glaring at the other man. "Hi Jillian. I'm Remus Lupin," he smiles.

"Nice to meet you. Both of you," I say turning to the man standing next to me. He is taller than me my head barley reaching his shoulders where his long black hair lays.

"Come on some of us are hungry," Ron yells from the bottom of the stairs. I smile at Sirius before tearing my eyes away from him and following Harry down the stairs.

"Careful," I hear Sirius say as I walk down the stairs and I can't help but smile.

"There you are Jillian dear. Time to eat. Sit Sit," a lady says when I get to the kitchen. I sit down next to Ginny and Hermione as the lady puts a plate stacked with food in front of me.

"This is my Mom, Jillian," Ginny says as she bites in to a piece of toast.

"Oh yes how rude not to introduce myself I just feel like I know you already. You can call me Mrs. Weasley. Your mom and I were best friends at Hogwarts," she says but pauses for a millisecond at the mention of my mother while she glances at me. I keep my head down. "My husband should be down in a little while, he had a bit of a long night for the Order," she continues.

"Doing what?" Ron asks hopefully but he gets no answer.

"Remus. Sirius, come and eat you both are too skinny." Remus blushed but Sirius just plops down next to Harry stealing a piece of Harry's toast.

"I guess you should explain Harry," Sirius says nodding to me. I pretend not to notice and pick at my eggs. They look really good but I can't bring myself to eat them. They're not pancakes.

"Explain what?" Hermione asks.

"She doesn't know who Sirius is," Harry says and the whole kitchen turns to look at me. I feel myself getting red with all the attention.

"What?" Ginny asks shocked. I decide I can't avoid the situation forever.

"Should I?" I ask looking at Sirius whom raises an eyebrow at me.

"I bloody well think so," Sirius said with something I can't define in his voice. He winces and I can tell Remus just kicked him under the table. Now its my turn to raise an eyebrow at him.

"And why would that be," I ask nothing expecting to get the answer I did.

"The world thinks I killed 13 people," he says. I am told the story in full later when Sirius is there.

Two Years and Four Months Later

I am currently fighting with Ginny using Muggle hand to hand combat. So much has changed. Remus Lupin in teaching DADA again. Sirius and Dumbledore are dead. Number 12 Grimmauld place feels empty and cold, more than it used to. Ginny and Harry are dating. We are preparing for battle over Christmas vacation and hunting for Horcruxes. Just thinking about what has been taken away makes me put a little more force behind my hits. 'Sirius, Sirius," I think as I lose myself in the fight. The only good thing is that I have made four of the best friends I couldn't even have dreamed for in Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.

"Constant Vigilance!" Moony yells catching Ginny off guard and I feel bad for using the opportunity to hit and win. Ginny sighs as I help her up. "Poor. Very poor girls. Ginny do the words CONSTANT VIGILANCE mean nothing. And you," Moody says rounding on me. "I am more disappointed in you," he says and I am toughly confused. "You shouldn't feel sorry for taking the opportunity. Its life and death out there! Ten minutes then Hermione and you fight." Moody leaves the room to do something or another. Ginny goes to sit next to Harry who puts an arm around her. I plop down next to Professor Lupin who is reading.

"Can't we practice spells, Professor," I ask nicely hoping I can stop beating up my friends.

"Oh we will after Moody gets done with you," Lupin says looking up from his book.

"You know we leave tonight, right?" I ask and I can he feel him watching me.

"Where to this time," he asks.

"You know I can't tell you that."

"Can you at least tell me which one?" he asks and I can't look at him.

"Hufflepuff's. Can you take care of Ginny? Make sure she doesn't worry too much or try and follow us again," I ask him just like I have every time we leave on these missions to destroy Horcuxes.

"I will. Be careful?" he asks.

"We will," I say. "I miss everyone, I miss him," I say unable to stop myself and I don't need to tell him its Sirius I miss.

"Me too. But you know you can't change things," he says. Moody comes back in before I have a change to ask him what he meant.

"Granger. Brewster. On your feet," Moody says and takes his seat. I give Lupin a weird look before I stand. Hermione is good at fighting. Its three minutes in to it before I get a good punch in. My ring gets caught on the necklace she is always wearing. I hear it snap but Hermione doesn't as she punches back at me. I fall back on my hands crushing something under me. Hermione grabs at where her necklace usually is.

"My time turner," she cries and we all know what has happened. My eyes widen as gold dust swirls around me. Blurs rush by me and I close my eyes tight wishing this wasn't happening. I land at a weird angle and find myself falling down a flight of stairs and I can't help but scream.


	2. Chapter 1 Really

A/N: So this is a story I wrote a while ago. It has four chapters and a prologue so far. I've just edited it and decided to post it. I _might_ not update for a while as I work on my The Fast and the Furious story but it all depends on the reviews and feedback. Thanks for everyone who has read the prologue and reviewed or added it so far. I don't own anything.

~HogwartsHeadGirl

Chapter 1

**August 8****th****, 1995; the Day Jillian lands at the Order**

Remus makes his way up to the attic knocking on the door. "Come in Remus," Sirius' voice comes from the other side of the door. Remus walks in the room to see Sirius feeding Buckbeak. He closes the door behind him then takes a seat in one of the chairs. Remus whispers some words in Latin and Sirius looks up wondering why Remus just locked the door. "Moony?"

"I need you to think about this logically and don't act with your heart," Remus said very seriously. "A girl just landed in your entryway."

"Who?" Sirius asks finally bringing his attention to Remus.

"Jillian."

"Let me out Remus," Sirius says moving to the door only to be blocked by the werewolf.

"You know I can't do that. You need to think."

"Thinking is what you do, Remus!" Sirius yells trying to push past Remus.

"And it is what I am going to do for the both of us," Remus replied. "You can't tell her anything. Or you'll change things. She might not even go back," Remus reasons.

"I don't know if I can pretend nothing happened."

"You'll have to, Padfoot. We've talked about this before."

"I lost her in Azkaban, I couldn't even remember her name," Sirius' voice drops to a whisper.

"She's here now, she is here," Remus saays laying a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Don't say anything and you'll have her again."

"She'll have a fugitive," Sirius says but agrees.

**September 1****st****, 1976; Marauders' year 7**

I heard a girl shriek as I land on the bottom of the stairs. This was not good. Why did Hermione have to go and have a time turner again? My head was stinging and warm but I couldn't comprehend why.

"Are you okay?" the voice of Remus Lupin asks running towards me and he crouches down beside me.

"Professor Lupin! Oh thank God I thought I had… when it broke… gold dust everywhere… didn't know what time I would have gone to," I say and wrap my arms tightly around Lupin's neck. "How did we get to Hogwarts?" I ask with a sinking feeling in my stomach. "God, what year is it?"

"What?" a voice I don't recognize says from behind me.

"Professor" a voice I do recognize laughs from my left, "I am always telling you that you look like a teacher." Whipping my already pounding head around I see someone I thought was gone forever.

"Sirius!" I say in disbelief untangling myself from Lupin I launch myself in to the arms of Sirius Black. I feel his body tense up. I pull back and see a younger Sirius Black. The gray eyes are the last thing I see before passing out.

"Do you think she is from the future?" a boy with messy black hair asks. I can't bring myself to open my eyes as I return to consciousness with my head pounding and the thought of moving sending my stomach churning. The redhead gives him an exasperated look. "Well she asked what year it is, that's got to mean something."

"Did she just call you Professor?" Sirius asks still holding my sleeping form.

"Yes," Remus says in amazement as they all stare at me.

"We have to get her to the hospital wing. Look," the girl says pointing to the back of my head which is covered in blood. "Sirius. Remus take her to the hospital wing and we'll go get Dumbledore," she says pointing to herself and the other boy. Sirius nods and trying to stand up while carrying me which isn't an easy task but he succeeds. The two people with the shiny head badges leaving the three of us.

"Come one Padfoot we better hurry she's lost a lot of blood," Remus says looking down at the puddle on the floor. With a quick cleaning spell they make their way to the Hospital Wing.

I wake up fully in the Hospital Wing feeling much better as a younger Madame Pomfrey keeps handing me horrendous tasting vials of medicine. All I've been able to articulate is the urgency of me talking to the headmaster. There is a picture of a handsome wizard sitting on Pomfrey's desk that isn't there in my time and I wonder what happened to him. Albus Dumbledore comes in to the wing and stands at the end of my bed.

"I'm Jillian Brewster. I'm from the future Headmaster," I manage to say but he is giving me a look of skepticism. I hold out my broken time turner, which I didn't let Pomfrey take. I had been gripping it so hard that it causes several more cuts to my hand and the blood it dripping on to the white sheets of the hospital wing. Dumbledore takes it and another time turner out of his pocket and examining the two of them.

"Seems like you're not that far in the future if I'm still headmaster," he smiles and conjures up a chair to sit in. "It seems like you have traveled to the first place this particular time turner had been used. Although I'll have to talk to Miss Evans about why she was using it at the moment she was. You see classes don't start until tomorrow."

"Miss Evans as in Lily Evans?" I ask in disbelief.

"Oh you know Miss Evans then," he chuckles. "I must ask you not to reveal anything of importance though as I'm sure you'll understand," he says with a sad smile.

"Yes, Sir," I say looking at my hands.

"Miss Evans, Misters Potter, Black and Lupin seem to have figured out that you are from the future but they are under strict instructions not to tell anyone. I am sure you can trust them," Dumbledore smiles.

"You don't understand I have to go back. They're very… They are part of my future. I can't change anything. I have to go home," I babble as my voice grows hysterical.

"I am sorry to inform you that we currently have no way of taking you back to your time. Time turners can only send one back in time." I forget to breathe for a long moment before sucking in as much air as I can. I have to stay. I have to find a way back!

"Does that mean I will have to stay here, Sir," I ask trying not to cry.

"Until I find a way to send you back," Dumbledore says with a sad smile. "Yet I am sure you will be quite comfortable for the time being." I can't help but feel hopeless. Ron, Harry and Hermione need me. I need them. "Don't worry Miss Brewster I'm sure I'll be able to get you back very soon."

Pomfrey made me spend the night in the Hospital Wing, which for once I was grateful for. Half the people in this school are dead or Death Eaters and I wasn't looking forward to fraternizing with either of them. Although they seemed to want to converse with me.

"Will you be quiet Padfoot. Do you want to wake Pomfrey?" a voice says from outside the door.

"Get off my foot! I can't believe you talked me in to this, Potter!" a girl shrieked. The door opens and closes but no one comes in. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep hoping they would leave. I heard the invisibility cloak being taken off and set on a bed.

"Silencio," Remus whispers.

"Good idea," a voice says.

"I thought so with Sirius here," Remus replies.

"Oh bugger off Moony," Sirius says.

"She is asleep. You mean I had to touch you for no reason Potter," a girl growles.

"I'm awake," I say sitting up.

"See Evans you got to touch me for something other than my dashing good looks," says the messy black haired boy who is grinning at her and then gets hit upside the head. I'm sitting there and I can't take my eyes off Sirius who is glaring at Moony. I feel fresh tears falling but I wipe them away.

"Hey future girl," Sirius grins.

"She has a name, Black," the girl says and smile expectably at me.

"Jillian Brewster," I say before I can think of a fake name; I was to distracted my having Harry's smile smiling at me though his mother.

"Hi Jillian. I'm Lily Evans and this is Remus, Sirius and James," she says and the boys raise their hands accordingly. "Well, actually seems like you may know some of them," she says and I can tell she is confused.

"Yeah from the future. I know all of you," I say knowing I cannot tell them only one of them is still alive. "But I can't say much else, sorry."

"We understand," Lily smiles and its contagious.

"So Remus is a Professor," Sirius laughs. "Figures."

"Is Sirius still a whore?" Remus jokes. I laugh but don't answer.

"So will you be staying here?" Lily asks breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Until the headmaster can find a way to send me back," I answer and Lily gives me a sad smile.

"We brought you some food because believe us the food in the Hospital is horrible," James says placing a plate of treats in front of me.

"Thank you," I mutter.

"No problem Future Girl," Sirius says.

"We better go Pomfrey is about to do her 2am rounds and I don't exactly feel like being yelled at," Remus says.

"Bye Jillian."

I wake up with the sun shining from the windows and I want to go back to bed. "Miss Brewster you have to wake up if you expect to make it to breakfast on time," Pomfrey says shaking me. I groan but I sit up. The door opens a few moments after I realize I have nothing to wear.

"Morning Jillian," Lily says making her way to my bed. "I brought you a uniform from the trunk Dumbledore had delivered to our room."

"Thanks Lily you're a savior," I smile and take the outfit she is handing me. After changing she hands me a bag full of books I assume I will need for class.

"Save your praise," she laughs as I open my mouth to thank her again. "I don't need my ego getting as big as Potter's," she jokes. I chuckle to myself. Harry had told me how his mother despised his father before falling in to his charms as Sirius put it. "What," she asks curiously.

"Oh nothing," I say unable to help myself. "Shall we go to breakfast?" I ask and we make our way out of the Hospital Wing with her giving me weird looks.

"Ah. My Lily Flower," we hear a voice behind us and Lily picks up the pace. Yet much to her dismay they catch up with us. "Peter this is the new girl Jillian Brewster. Jillian this is Peter," James says pushing the rat in front of me. I hold my hatred back as I say hello to the person that kills more people than he could imagine.

"Potter can you leave me alone I am trying to escort Jillian to the Great Hall," Lily says and she tries to place space between the two groups.

"You see James has been trying to woo Lily since forever," Remus explains after James runs up to Lily and asks her out.

"Potter NO NO NO," Lily practically yells and James look disappointed. Lily storms ahead trying to lose Potter with no luck and Peter runs to keep up with James.

"So Future Girl you already know your way to the Great hall don't you?" Sirius asks smiling down at me as he slings an arm around me.

"Yes," I say and he smiles triumphantly.

"What year were you in?" he asks and I refuse to answer as I disentangle myself from him and walk in to the Great Hall. Lily is sitting down with Potter right next to her. Placing her bag between them she tries to ignore him as we join her.

"I just got done reading Hariot's guide to Vampire hunting and found it rather uninformative," Lily says changing the subject from her glowing eyes.

"I agree. I personally haven't read a good book on vampires. I think everyone is too scared to speak to them," I say.

"The best book I've read about them is Interview with a Vampire," Remus says. Sirius sits down to hear me and Lily laughing and feels the need to join in. Lily just laughs at him and I give him an amused smile.

"What?" Sirius asks sitting down next to me.

"It's a muggle book," Remus explains.

"Oh," Sirius says filling his plate. "This is what you get for talking about books. No one ever knows what you are talking about." Remus chuckles and Lily just rolls her eyes.

"Schedules," McGonagall says passing them out to the Gryffindor table.

"What's wrong with your schedule?" James asks Lily as Peter is engrossed in his schedule. "I thought you were taking extra classes."

"I turned in my time turner and dropped some classes after your incident," Lily says looking at me. "I didn't want to end up in some unfamiliar time. I can't believe how calm you are."

"Me either," I say but I know I have become good at bottling it all up. Seems like a good trait with all the spontaneous traveling I've been doing.

"Yeah I see why you did it Evans," James says. "Not seeing me for God knows how long."

"Now that you mention it," Lily says nicely and James grin doubles. "Maybe I should go ask for it back." Needless to say the grin disappeared.

**August 8****th****, 1995**

"I could seriously spend days reading all those books," I say to Hermione after her and the gang gave me the tour of the house; finishing with the library.

"Oh great another person we have to drag away from the library," Ron groaned. Hermione rolled her eyes and lays down on her bed book in hand. The house it's self was beautiful but it could use some warming up in more than one way. Looking for a sweater in my tiny bag if found none. What I did find was my mother's necklace. A golden locket. Opening it I saw a picture of me from three years ago and a picture of my mother and father by a black lake. I didn't notice that I was falling until my knees hit the ground.

"Jillian?" Hermione asked with worry in her voice.

"It's my fault. All my fault," I whisper as tears roll down my cheeks. I felt them rush over to me and the sound of a door opening.

"No, Jillian. It's not, don't say that," Ginny say placing a hand of my shoulder.

"He was looking for me. Voldemort was looking for me," I say dropping the rest of my body on to the floor. "She died to protect me." They were all looking at each other all awkward like but I really didn't care. I couldn't see them not really. I just saw my mom and a green light. "How could I have let that happened. I knew we were there for a reason. I should have known. And I just grabbed on to the bag and left her there," I cried. Harry pulled me in to a hug for the second time that day.

"There is nothing you could do. I know how you feel but there is nothing you can do except remember that she loved you," Harry tells me.

"But I killed her," I scream. Harry grabs my shoulders and looks at me in the eyes.

"Never say that. You didn't kill any one. Voldemort did this. Blame him. Don't blame yourself. You did nothing," Harry says and hugs me tight. I feel the other three join in on the hug. I don't see Sirius and Remus standing in the door way. Remus is holding Sirius back. Sirius wipes away his tears before shrugging off Remus's arm and retreating from the room.

9


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**September 2****nd****, 1976**

"Looks like we have the same first class Fut...," Sirius starts to call me Future Girl again but Remus stops him with a swift kick of the shin. Remus nods to an oblivious Peter who is chowing down on every piece of food within his reach. Sirius nods and I understand that Peter isn't allowed to know that I'm from the future. I'm more than glad because if Voldemort found out I traveled from the future, to this time, he would use it to his advantage. I glance over at Peter who is laughing at something James said and I wish that I could jump over the table and ring his cubby little neck. How can I tell no one that this rat hands over his best friends to Voldemort? Oh yeah because if I do, tell anyone that is, Voldemort would have never died and thousands more who are safe and sound in my time would be dead. Don't change anything. Don't change anything. Don't change anything, I repeat over and over in my head. Including Sirius, I think. I can't save the man who is currently throwing grapes at Remus to catch in his mouth; it probably would work better if Remus was playing the game too and had opened him mouth. Sirius… I could save him right? Wouldn't be so bad. He… it hurt so badly when he died. Don't change anything, I berate myself for my wishful thinking.

"Come on Jillian, we better hurry if we want to make it to charms on time," Sirius says he pulls me down the hall.

"We wouldn't be late if you didn't spend thirty minutes redoing your hair, Sirius," I say letting him drag me down the hall.

"If I didn't do that, doll, I wouldn't be as my dashing self," Sirius grins cheekily at me.

"You'd need more than thirty minutes for that, pup," I say to Sirius who stops pulling me in an instant. I can't help grin to myself at my innuendo.

"What," he says in a low voice staring in to my eyes. I get distracted by those gray eyes like I did so many times when he was alive.

"Sirius, the dog star," I say as if that is why I called him pup. "I really like astronomy," I lie uncertainly.

"Well, come on then Future Girl," he says but I stop him.

"Would you stop calling me that," I growl.

"Why Future.." he starts before I glare furiously at him.

"Look I don't know what world you live in but I've been in the real world and I know that if the Death Eaters found out who I am I would be captured and forced to tell them what I know through any means necessary. I don't want to talk but if there is one thing I've learned it's that after torture everyone talks. And if I did it would destroy everything," I explode and storm up three flights of stairs and in to the Charms class room. I sit down next to Remus in an obvious huff. In my world the, real world Sirius is dead, and I know I will have to go back to that and I can't lose him again.

"Sirius?" Remus asks handing me a piece of chocolate. All I can do is stare at the chocolate he is offering me; the same way he had done so many times in the past. Or is it future? Oh who the hell knows these days? I feel tears welling up again and I refuse to cry in front of Past Remus. Grabbing my bag I turn and flee the classroom before Flitwick shows. I don't pass Sirius on the way, I make sure of that. An oak door appears after a minute of passing. Closing and locking the door behind me I finally let the gravity of my situation sink in. I want to go home. I want to go home. If I were in a fucking movie I could tap my heels and be home; with my mother. I wipe the tears from my eyes an hour later and look around the room I created. There is a fireplace and a large couch that looks comfy and soft. Crawling to the couch I lay down on the plush red velvet. I wish I could contact my friends and tell them that I'm okay. Ask Harry if he wants me to tell his parents anything; ask them anything. Don't go to the Department of Mysteries. Kill Peter now. I fall asleep on the couch.

**August 11****th****, 1995; Very Early Morning**

"I think it is because of the sugar," Ginny says throwing a paper ball in to the air and catching it.

"Duh," Hermione says shoving Ginny. I can't help but laugh. I've been at the Black house for a few days now but I spent most of that time hauled up in the library. But today I decided to get with the program and hang out with my house mates. Turns out I picked a good day. Remus had just come back from Hogsmeade with bags of candy, most of which is now gone. After a day of eating sweets and getting to know the each other Hermione, Ginny, and I found ourselves unable to sleep.

"I'm hungry," Ginny whines and Hermione and I gave her a horrified look. "For real food," she explains.

"Me too," I say rubbing my stomach.

"Let's go to the kitchen," Hermione suggests. We tip toe though the house bumping into each other in the dark and giggling quiet enough not to wake Mrs. Black. Once we get to the kitchen I cast a silencing charm and Hermione looks shocked.

"Right I have to get use to this not using magic outside school thing," I say. "I don't see how you can't do magic for three months. You know they can't even detect it if you are in a magical household," I say.

"Really!" Ginny says.

"You shouldn't have told her that," Hermione says sitting down at the table.

"So girls what are we in the mood for?" I ask.

"Grilled cheese," Hermione says and I nod my head in agreement.

"A what?" Ginny asks confused.

"You'll see," Hermione and I say in unison followed by us cracking up. Ginny just glares at us and turns on the radio to a muggle station. We all grin at each other and begin dancing around while we make food. Hermione was grading the cheese and I was buttering the bread while Ginny watches and dances to the music. "There we go," I say as I place five sandwiches on to the stove and join Hermione and Ginny. After a couple minutes I flip the sandwiches and the song changes to "I like Big Butts." I hear Hermione humming along so I stop to look at her

"What it is a good song," Hermione defends.

"It is," Ginny says. "I never knew that you like big butts Hermione," she teases and then turns the music up. Three seconds later finds us doing what can only be described as butt maneuvers while we dance and sing. The silencing charm I put up is still there so we don't notice the door open, someone walk in, and the door close until said person chuckles from within the charm. The three of stop and spin around hands behind us as if we have been caught in the cookie jar. There is Sirius Black standing by the doorway wearing boxers and a shirt only watching us. I turn pink when I remember what I was just doing with my butt and I bet the other girls were blushing as well.

"Now what do we have here?" Sirius says leaning against the wall. I looked in to his gray eyes and then quickly down again. In the last couple of days I hadn't seen much of Sirius, not that I was disappointed or anything. When I did his grey eyes were always somewhere near me but never on me, like he had just looked away when I turned to look to him. Those times, when Sirius was there, I found myself more relaxed, less like I wanted to cry, and I couldn't explain it.

"We were just celebrating the fact that Hermione likes big butts," Ginny snickers.

"I do not!" Hermione yells and grabss a dish towel to hit Ginny with. Hermione was hitting Ginny who kept running away while Sirius laughs and we made eye contact again.

"We are just making grilled cheese sandwiches. Do you want one?" I asked taking them off the stove and setting them onto a plate. He walked over and leans against the counter next to me staring at the sandwiches like they were alien creatures.

"Sure," he said and gave me the grin that made me forget what I was doing for a moment. Ten minutes later Hermione and Ginny are done eating and were dancing again.

"Too much sugar," I explain to the man sitting across the table. I feel a pull as Ginny grabs me up in to dancing position. I'm embarrassed but the sugar gets the better of me as I start to dance.

"Come on Sirius!" Ginny giggles trying to get Sirius to dance and stop laughing at us. He shakes his head no. Madonna's Beautiful Stranger comes on and Sirius finally agrees. This time with Sirius has seriously made me giddy. Remus usually interrupts with something urgent he needs Sirius for before we can spend any time together. He's pretty what can I say. Even with the age lines that rest on his face and the black tattoos on his arms from Azkaban he is beautiful and I'm a girl. Most of all I can't get over the calm I feel when he is around, the pressure of my thoughts lessens and I can breathe easily. After a few seconds Sirius and I are dancing together as Hermione and Ginny flare around. With one hand on my hip and the other in my hand Sirius moves us around the kitchen. Wherever his hands touch me a light flare of heat sparks creating a flipping sensation in my stomach. I try to shake myself out of it but I'm not sure it works . I hope we don't look so weird but as Sirius twirls me I don't really care.

"Sirius," we hear a questing voice say and we all stop dancing. Remus is standing in the door way raising an eyebrow at Sirius. Damn man, I think as Sirius's body stiffens and he moves away from me.

"I wish people would stop sneaking up on us," Ginny says then her and Hermione go back to dancing.

"Hey Remus," I say and try to get Sirius to start dancing again.

"Come on Remus we are dancing you should join," Sirius says dipping me causing me to giggle.

"No thank you. I'll sit here and watch," Remus says looking at Sirius.

"Okay mate," Sirius says. Ignoring Remus Sirius spins me once more and pulls me back to him so quickly I think I forget to breath.

"Oh but I will have a sandwich," Remus says breaking the spell. I laugh and continue to dance not noticing that Sirius can't stop watching me and Remus is acting like a medieval chaperone.

**September 2****nd****, 1976**

When I wake up it is dusk and the sun is setting. After blinking my eyes a couple of times to completely wake up I sigh before standing up. I should really go back to the common room before someone worries. But really who is going to worry? Everyone who cares about me isn't born yet except Remus who doesn't even know me. I take a moment to compose myself and take a courageous breath before going out to live in a world of walking memories. I open and close the door behind me then turn around to see Sirius sitting on the windowsill across the hall.

"Sirius?" I ask as he turns to smile at me. I let out a breath that I've been holding as he gives me the same smile he use to when he saw me. Cocky, happy, and rebellious. I'd seen it so many times until that too was taken away. He is still wearing the same clothes as earlier and grinning at me. I'm just so happy to see him smile, my smile, that I don't care that I shouldn't be hanging out with him. That I should distance myself. Prepare for the pain.

"Hey Jill," he says hopping off the windowsill and walks over to me. "I've been waiting for you." Yeah, all I care about is that he is here less than a foot from me, breathing.

"How did you know where I was?" I ask but I already know.

"I'm Sirius Black I can do anything," he says placing an arm around my shoulder. "I've come to take you out." I raise an eyebrow at him but can't help but smile. "It's my way of say sorry for being a prat."

"Just a prat?" I ask.

"Do you want me to take you out or not?" he asks.

"Am I going to get in trouble for this?" I ask.

"It's a distinct possibility," he answers. I nod my head yes and he laughs. "And before you ask this plan is all mine. Remus only told me you were sad because of me. I know I'm a genius. Okay let's get going. It is going to take us a while to get to the muggle world."

"What!" I say and stop walking.

"Come on the muggle world can be fun. Stop being a pureblood."

"I'm not a pureblood," I say. He turns to grin down at me.

"Even better cause I'm shite with all the muggle stuff. Plus it's the same no matter what time you are in and you won't run in to anyone you know from the future," he says and pulls me along.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**September 2****nd****, 1976**

"Oh my God, I can't believe you talked me in to doing this Sirius Black," I say as we wander thought the one eyed witch passage into Hogsmeade. Sirius's hand is leading me through a tunnel I have been in many times with my friends and I can't help but wonder if they are doing okay without me.

"Okay here we are. I'll go first then help you up," Sirius grins as he open the secret passage ways and pulls himself up into Honeydukes cellar. His face appears a minute later with a goofy grin. "Ready Freddie," he says and extends his arms. After he helps me up I can't help but laugh quietly.

"Freddie?" I ask.

" Muggles say it. I think. Plus I need another nickname to call you. So I'm testing some out," he says. "Anything you prefer?"

"Jillian."

"Right-o then Jilly bean," Sirius says as I just shake my head and he chuckles.

"Quiet now," he says as he leads me up the stairs then out a Honeydukes window. We land on the empty streets of Hogsmeade.

"It's so pretty," I say looking at the deserted streets of Hogsmeade.

"Haven't you seen it before?" Sirius asks.

"I have but never like this," I say. The streets are covered in fallen leaves and no one is pushing anyone to get into Zonko's.

"I love Hogsmeade at night," Sirius says off handily. "You should see it in the winter." I smile up at him surprised "What I like the snow," he says then grins at me as he raises his wand to summon the Knight Buss. A loud BANG erupts in the otherwise silent night followed by the Knight Bus comes stopping next to us.

"Don't you think they will know we are from Hogwarts?" I whisper in his ear.

"Let's hope not."

"What!" I yell and Sirius drags me to the bus. "You haven't thought about that?"

"No," he says and opens the door and lets me in.

"Where ya all going?" a man says not looking up from his Daily Prophet.

"Diagon Alley," Sirius says and gives me a smug look. Sirius hands the unresponsive man the money as is stick my tongue out at him. Sirius chuckles at me as I lead him to a seat in the back.

"So where are we going?" I ask as I turn to face him.

"It's a surprise Jilly Bean," he says and hands me a chocolate frog.

"Please tell me," I say and give him my best puppy dog eyes.

"Oh I don't think so. I invented that look and I ain't falling for it," Sirius jokes.

"Fine," I say in faux anger. "Can I at least have another chocolate frog?"

"All you want, babe," Sirius says and I can't help but snort. I don't notice his hurt expression as he hands me more frogs.

"I'm all excited now," I say smiling at him.

"Good," Sirius says grinning at me.

**August 11****th****,1995**

"Ow! Ginny you're on my foot," Hermione whispers.

"Someone's elbow is painfully in my stomach," Ron growls.

"This is never going to work," Ginny whines.

"Well, it won't if you don't sush," I snap.

"Yeah shut it," Harry agrees. The closet goes silent as a door opens and we hear footsteps. Many conversations are taking place until Dumbledore's voice rings out.

"Okay everyone settle and we'll begin. Molly if you don't mind," Dumbledore says and we hear Mrs. Weasley cast a spell that had kept them from eavesdropping in the past. The four of us hold our breaths waiting to see if it would stop us again. "Order of the Phoenix meeting 75 commencing now. First order of business. Moody is on assignment in Bulgaria recruiting members to fight against Voldemort as well as investigating a mass killing in Northern Bulgaria and won't be able to make it." I felt Hermione give a silent sigh of relief. This might actually work. "Now in old business, have we been able to finish our report on the Brewster file?" Dumbledore asks.

"Seems that Voldemort received word about Jillian and her residence but we are unable to find out who the information came from. The estate has been burned and the muggle papers are reporting that it was an electrical fire," Remus says to the group.

"Our number one priority is finding out who leaked this information. I want to know last month. Understood?" Dumbledore says and there is an array of agreement. "New topics?"

"I was going thought those muggle newspapers and I've read about a series of murders in Ireland where green lights were seen coming from the crime scene," Sirius voice said and there was a buzz of conversation. "Casualties number 15."

"Okay seems Voldemort is coming out of the woodwork and since the ministry won't protect or inform our people it is our duty to stop these attacks. Snape I want you to figure out who the next attack will be on so we can replace them with a decoy," Dumbledore says and there is an agreement from Snape. "Thank you Sirius," he says but there is only a grumble from Sirius. "How are we getting with the old troops?"

"A few have joined and the others haven't been able to be found," Remus says and Dumbledore tells him to give him the names who want to fight again.

"Now that we have an almost up to date list of the death eaters that returned to Voldemort I want the one's in Voldemort's inter circle watched for any suspicious behavior you know the spells. I also want the ones who did not return rounded up and an offer made. If they give us details from the last war and how Voldemort works we won't kill them. Now on to the item, does everyone know the time of their posts?" Dumbledore asks.

"Yes," was the general agreement.

"Well, this concludes this meeting we will be meeting in a couple days to discuss other matters," Dumbledore finished and we hear him pop out. The talking starts up again and we hear many people leaving. Ten minutes later the room is totally silent. The five of us look at each other and decide it was time to leave so I slowly open the door. Standing in front of the door watching us expectantly was none other than Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

"Fancy seeing you here," Sirius says.

"We should really get points here that closet is smaller than it looks," I say in our defense.

"And with Ron," Harry says and we all start slowly inching to the door.

"Freeze," Lupin said in that teacher voice of his.

"I think they are almost worthy of the term Marauders," Sirius grins.

"Almost?" Ginny questions.

"We would have brought the invisibility cloak," Remus comments.

"You mean this one," Hermione says throwing it at Sirius.

"Yeah that one," Sirius laughs. "But we would have put it on."

"Hey," I say and hit Sirius on his arm.

"Ow."

"Whose idea was this?" Remus says.

"Ours," Ginny, Hermione, and I all say at the same time.

"Cleaver girls but I'll be checking the closet from now on," Remus says. The five of us sigh and go off to find new ways of getting information one of which is locking Sirius down and tickling him until he tells us.

"I heard that and don't you dare."

**September 2****nd****, 1976**

"Stop. Diagon Alley," the conductor says and Sirius and I make our way out.

"No, I don't know if Lily and James get together so stop asking, Black," I say and he growls at me.

"Guess I'll have to tickle it out of you," he says and advances on me.

"Don't you dare, mister," I scold but he doesn't stop. "Ahh No," I giggle and run towards the Leaky Cauldron. "Stop Sirius! I'm serious Sirius," I say and start laughing enough for Sirius to catch up and start tickling me. "Oh God stop right now. Can't breathe. Stop Stop Padfoot Stop," I say the stop as I realize what I said and so does he. "I mean Stop Stop Sirius Stop," I laugh trying to cover it up.

"So you do know more about us than you're letting on?" Sirius asked as we walk into the Leaky Cauldron.

"Yes, I do but I can't tell you anything or you won't marry that model like you are in my time," I say in faux seriousness.

"Really," he perks up. I snort and he perks down.

"Loser," I say as he orders us two Butterbeers and led us out to the London streets. "Now will you tell me where we are going," I ask but am denied. It was getting steadily darker as we laughed and joked the way through the streets.

"Close your eyes," Sirius covering my eyes with his hands.

"Wait what. Sirius. I'm going to fall," I say but can't help but laugh.

"Don't you trust me?" he asks as he continues directing me.

"No one else," I say and he tells me to step down. I hear a car honk. "Okay I take it back," I say. He laughs in my ear his breath sliding across my neck.

"Those carriages are weird. Don't worry we're here. Open," he says and uncovers my eyes. Standing in front of me is a muggle movie theater with its flashing lights and people waiting in line.

"Oh my God. Sirius," I say and launch myself on him giving him a crushing hug. "You are truly amazing," I say. He laughs as I pull away from the hug. "Lets go see what's playing," I say pulling him to the signs. "Tonight is the opening of Star Wars!" I yell. "Did I tell you that you were amazing?" I ask looking at the poster.

"Once or twice," he says. "I take it you want to see it?" he asks and we walk to the ticket box.

"Yes. Oh this is perfect. You are perfect," I say and I can't help but grin. "I'm so excited," I say jumping up in down as we wait in line. "Oh can we have popcorn, and candy, and drinks," I ask smiling up at Sirius.

"Anything you want, kitten," Sirius says setting his arm around my shoulders. "But you should give the girl the money I don't know what these paper things are," he says handing me muggle money.

"Kay," I say. "Wait? Dogs chase kittens," I say.

"Yeah got a problem?" he asks and I push him away.

"Two for Star Wars," I say and grin up at Sirius. The girl hands us our tickets we walk in. "I still can't believe you did this," I say as we buy our popcorn and such.

"Yeah I get that a lot," he jokes and we head in to the theater.

"You are impossible," I say as I make him sit near the front. "Sit sit. Oh this is going to be great," I say taking a drink. Sirius plops down in the seat next to me and grabs a piece of candy. "Sirius. Thanks," I say looking at the floor. "This means a lot. I needed out of the castle."

"Don't mention it. I'm having fun to with you," he says and the lights dim. Sirius looks around for the source of darkness. I can't help but giggle, "It's starting."

6


End file.
